Thursday, November 13, 2008


I still have a lot to do with the house, but it is coming along.  We had our first guests over, Mom, ReRe, and Andy came over to see the place.  They encouraged me to hook up the TV, awesome!

I completely ripped this from Allison tonight.

I am glad that tomorrow is my last day off work, I don't like spending all day in the house by myself, I miss work sometimes.

I worry about loosing my job, especially since we just bought a house and bought appliances, it just seems like now is the time that would happen.

I have a lot to be thankful for-- a superb family, a wonderful wife, great friends.

I miss my high school friends, I just don't see them or talk to them enough.  They were rare birds that understand me, really know me.  

I fear being useless or unwanted.

I feel a little drained right now.

I hear the refrigerator running... no I will not try to go catch it.

I smell the new carpet smell

I crave beer tonight, I could use one.

I cry less often than I used to, I think that is good most of the time, I miss it though.

I usually get to work before my shift starts, I try not to be Mr. Five Minutes like I used to.

I search for cheap lawn equipment on craigslist.

I wonder what my true calling is.

I regret a ton of things... I could not list them all here.  I keep a list in my head of every decision I have ever made, I eventually revisit all of them in my spare time.  I try not to spend too much time alone for that reason

I love the way I felt when I lost 45 lbs... I want to go back there sometime soon.

I care about what other people think way too much.  

I always want to be everything to everyone.

I worry that my fate is predetermined.
I am not a fan repeating myself.  

I remember spending endless hours with Dhara and Ashley in the bed of my pickup, staying in Dhara's driveway til 2am just talking about nothing.  Those were some of the happiest times of my life.

I believe in earning your keep... I hate when people complain about things that happen to them but never admit when they happened because of them.  I am not a millionaire because I have not made decisions and done the things necessary to get there.

I sing Sister Hazel songs while I am previewing cars at auction.  "Its hard to say what it is I see in you, wonder if I will even bid on you."

I don't always put in enough effort at being a good husband.
I write in my planner all the time, I never look at it again, but it creates a date association in my head so I know what I have to do.

I win rarely, I am built for comfort not for speed.

I lose my mind when I use the wrong word while talking, I become Ted Mosby, Architect when other people do it too, I love to correct them.

I listen NPR all the time, I used to hate it when I would get picked up from Jr. High and my mom would have on Talk Of The Nation.  Now it is one of my favorite shows.

I don't understand women.

I can usually be found at work or on the computer.

I need to work on my patience with others and my weight.

I forget everything all the time.  I should have put that on the "I need to work on" lead but I forgot to.

I am happy in these little moments when I am not thinking about a lot of stuff, sometimes it is when I just wake up, sometimes it is that moment before falling asleep.  Sometimes it is right after I kiss Amanda on the head, sometimes it is while I am driving up I77 in WINI.  I just try to hold on to those little smiling moments as long as I can.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...


Sounds completely normal to me.
I'd be worried if you didn't have all
those thoughts!!!!