Thursday, April 23, 2009

I cannot be creative at home.

I used to think of all these things I could do, creative things.  I would design a complete room in my head, using existing furniture, something new and different.  As soon as I walk through the door and get to the task of putting my plan in action, something horrible happens.  Each and every time I get a creative thought in my head, it is gone.  

The culprit is the door jamb.  Some mystical magnesium or ironic iron exists only in the door jambs of my house, not allowing those ideas to come to fruition.  There have been really thoughtfully laid out blog posts about my looming mid-life crisis or some eloquently crafted anti-right-wing argument that have all been zapped by the rectangular mind eraser.  It is like Q raised his wand thingy in front of my face and erased my thoughts on what it means to live in suburbia in Charlotte.  

The issue is not if this happens, I have researched the issue greatly and my boring blog is proof enough that it does happen.  The issue is why this happens.  Either I am too afraid to share with you what I want to write, or my prevailing and biggest lead on the case, that my mind is too lazy to hold the thoughts in long enough to get them all down into a word processor.  A mind is a terrible thing to waste, logically, my wasteful mind is just plain terrible. 

I am lazy, so I bore myself with play by play accounts of what has or what is going to happen.  Like a thirteen year old girl scribbling in her diary about how Johnny Footballhero winked at her in the hall and commented on how good her hair smelled.  Written words are so hard to pull a tone out of the Times New Roman, but I am breathing heavily as a I write this because I am so pissed at myself for being this way.  Alas I am.  

Please comment with the movie and song referenced in this post... please do not look at the comments until you bother to at least guess.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Living Room Mods

Since I am a car guy, instead of rennovations or additions to a house, I make modifications to the house.  I think it makes me feel like more of a car guy because I am spending the money I had saved to mod up WINI.  I will post a before picture of the living room... then there will be gigantic Ikea bookshelves eating up our living room wall.  Yeah!  Tomorrow is assembly day.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Wait, Loss

I have managed to maintain my weight at 254lbs as of this morning... I am really struggling with the transition off of Nutrisystem.  When summer rolls around, I want to enjoy eating out with friends and family.  The chocolate provided by Easter festivities is not very helpful in this whole weight loss endeavor.  I really need to switch from a diet to a healthy lifestyle.  

I am reading a book called Skinny Bitch, though aimed at females, it was sent to me by my beloved friend Dhara and I am going to try to use some tips from the book to change my relationship with food.  I use it to comfort me in times of high stress, like, say, now, these times right here.  I want some food right now.

I will share with you what I can stomach as I still hope to find my place where I don't feel like I am on a diet and I don't feel like a big fatty.  I want to remain publicly accountable for my weight loss or gain.  

I officially came in second in our office's Biggest Loser Competition.  I lost 30lbs, but Will lost 27.5 but started at 214 and therefore lost a bigger percentage.  One guy gained 10lbs.  I am thrilled with Will and I's results.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

This Week with the Bradshaws

Many fun and exciting events this weekend.

1. Aunt Annie is in town from Pittsburgh this week.  I look forward to hanging out with my beloved Aunt for a little while, party at mom's Sunday for the hell of it.

2. Anna's Wedding is on Saturday.  She ties the knot in the mid afternoon and Amanda and I will be there will bells, okay, just nice clothing on.

3. We are keeping an eye out for our neighbors kitty cat while they attend a wedding in the D.C. area.  Thank God Mike called me to remind me tonight, I would have forgotten.

in news not related to this weekend:

1. I am going to apply to Wingate University's MBA program.  In downtown Matthews, it combines the most flexibility, value, and career benefit for me.

2. I take the GMAT on May 20th at 8am.. keep me in your prayers.

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Twink Bradshaw 1995-2009

Twink Bradshaw
Dr. Twink M. Toezums, M.D.
Chub Tubs

Twink Bradshaw passed away today due to kidney failure.  Though her exact birthday is not known, it was celebrated on June the ninth, 1995, the day she arrived at the home of her mother.  Twink was around 14 years old.  She is survived by her parents, Amanda and Jon Bradshaw, her grandmother, Reatha Andrew, and her sister, Cheeto Bradshaw.  

She was well known for her hunting prowess in the wild, she easily transitioned into indoor life by becoming her mother's "shadow."  Seldom was a shower taken or hair blown dry without the watchful eye of Twink.  She spent her time helping her mom get dressed by finding clean clothes, laying on them, letting her mother know that was the outfit to wear and lint roll that day.  Her mother credits Twink for a perfect attendance record in high school, Twink never let anyone sleep past 5:30 am.  

Twink suffered from epilepsy early in life, this ailment bonded her and her mother as Amanda was the only person who could give Twink her medicine.  Twink took a while to trust humans, it took her father years to be in her good graces.  Twink had chronic ear issues, once having to wear a collar where she made the best of the situation and learned how to walk backwards.  Twink also battled weight problems most of her life, often the song "lowrider" would come on when she walked.  Belly rubbing the ground aside, she also battled addictions to catnip and used Q-tips.  

Twink enjoyed travel late in life.  Her travels took her to places like Chicago, Evanston, and Huntersville.  She set a personal record for good behavior on a 13 hour car ride to move to North Carolina.  Twink enjoyed teaching, like her mother and grandmother, the subject of ingestion.  She taught her sister how to eat a lot.  Cheeto was a meager 9 lbs when she moved in and has now ballooned to well over 14lbs in Twink's training program.  She served as a positive role model for her younger sibling and will be a sorely missed play pal.  

Twink received her B.A. in Eating from the University of North Catolina Charlotte in 1998, following with her Masters in Sleeping in 2000 from Dukitty University.  Her Ph. D. from Meyale in Catnetticut in 2004.  Dr. Toezums taught in schools in the Charlotte area to many disadvantaged and troubled youth.  Teaching them about the dangers of catnip.  

Memorial Services will be held tomorrow at Iams & Friskies Funeral Home off Kittypendence Blvd. in Charlotte.  In lieu of flowers, donations will be accepted in her name to the Fraternal Order of Kittens.

"...ain't no sunshine when she's gone, and this house just ain't no home, now that she's gone away..."

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Does anyone think about this but me?

1. I think that ESPN does not have a wardrobe department because there are a few days a year when every guy on stage is wearing the same colored suit.  That happened tonight on Baseball Tonight... everyone rocked the tan.

2. I think it is a cultural thing that the top selling singles on iTunes are always hip-hop and pop songs yet the top albums are always country or rock.