Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Buyer Speak

Buyer Speak: As most know, I am a professional car buyer. I spend a lot of money, really fast, and then I have to account for it. In a business environment, communication is key. So why do people within a profession speak in acronym? I love clarity. TGIF, RSVP (the French are assholes), FUBAR, speak English people. In my field though I have fallen victim not only to acronymitis, but I have coined my own phrases for car terms and picked up a few along the way. A fellow buyer whom I spent a lot of time mentoring when he was in training said to me today after I blurted out one of my buyer-only-vernacular word, "Jon, the reason I like going to an auction with you is to see what new phrases you will come up with." Eli, here's to you. A list of some car buying term and their definitions in italics. (note the uselessness, they are usually longer than the term they replace, maybe a slight interpretation too!)

Hole In The Head- a sunroof
Slick Top- no sunroof
Cow Hydes- leather seats
High Rubber or Deep Donuts- new tires
Hand Shaker- Manual Transmission (think of the action of shaking a hand, you'll get it)
Stampies- those wheels that aren't hubcaps, but aren't alloys (steel stamp wheels)
Lumpy- less than 10k miles per model year (means Low Miles Per Model Year)
Tits & Ass- Trans Am, where is my Mullet?
Party Girl Evidence- those 1,000+ little scratches around the door, indicates that the driver is too intoxicated to find the key hole.
Kitty Cooker or Baby Baker- a minivan or SUV without privacy glass (tinted windows)
Shorty- a short wheelbase van or truck
Four Wheels Diggin'- 4 wheel drive, two wheels diggin' for 2 wheel drive
Slider- power driver's seat

If you want, post comments or questions, I would like to know what industry specific terms or (funny) acronyms do you use on a daily basis that anyone outside your office/classroom/house/whereverthehellyouwork use.

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