Miami & Key West

Background. Amanda and I took a trip with another couple. Sara is my best friend from college. She and I have traveled near and far together with no issues. Tim is Sara's husband, I stood for him at his wedding, he will stand for me at mine. Sara's father and step mother live in Coral Gables, FL, right outside of Miami. A little spice to the trip was Chance, the 2 year old black lab.

Friday- after saying goodbye to the Celtic Trader, we enjoyed a night at the Smith's house and headed out. As surprised as some may be, Chance was a really good traveler, he only needed to stop when the other girls did. Amanda almost dehydrated herself all day just so she wouldn't be the cause of frequent pee breaks. My mom raised me to to travel swift, hurry up so you can spend more time at your destination. Amanda is trying to teach me that the journey is part of the experience, I am yet to be bought in. We got to the Hilyard's around 8ish. It was a good trip.

Saturday- We just went and hung out at Miami's Bayside shopping area, we took a boat tour of the Star's Homes. We saw Tom Cruise's condo, Elizabeth Taylor's pink mansion, and Rosie O'Donnel's palace. Shaq-fu was not spending time on the basketball court.

Sunday- we went to South Beach. We were disappointed at the lack of topless women, but there was no shortage of scantily clad Cuban men sporting banana hammocks and boy-cut shorts. Contrary to the name, boy-cuts are made for women only!!! It was so f'n hot that you actually got more soaked when you left the bathwater temp'd ocean. We ate the most amazing dinner (Sara's dad is a carpenter {not like J.C.} and a superb cook) of Salmon with a champagne double reduction sauce, lobster tails, and king crab legs. Amanda and I discussed it that night, there is a reason she and I have headed to the mountains multiple times since dating but have yet to wander to the beach. WE DON'T LIKE SAND!!!!

Monday- Drove down Route 1 to Key West. This is a dream place, especially for Amanda and I, there are no beaches, so no worry about sand. We have all the island charm without small granules in every crevice. We stayed at the Key Lime Inn (www.historickeywestinns.com) and it was a dream. This old home was remade into a campus of cottages. We actually had a room next to Tim and Sara that shared a rocking chair front porch. The pool was the perfect temp, we swam twice a day. We got a great rate because it is Key West's off-season. We went shopping for most of the evening. We did however decide that we must stay another day!

Tuesday- Headed to the Hemingway house to see the six toed kitties. They are freaky looking. Our tour guide was pretty cool. The house is 16 feet above sea level, the altitude was getting to us so we had to head on to Mallory Square to see the sunset. It was everything Jimmy Buffett has written about and more. If I ever have to stay in the Southeast for any godforsaken reason, I am living in Key West. We followed up the evening at Sloppy Joe's where Sara, Amanda, and I got trashed. Amanda is a funny drunk although I must admit, she is not a good walker when sober, her skills deteriorate further when inebriated. We danced the night away, at one point during Gnarls Barkley's Crazy, we were that couple, yes, the ONLY couple on the dance floor. Does that make us crazy?

Wednesday- We stopped on the way back from Key West in Key Largo and picked up two huge ass lobster traps. Duh, this is a perfectly normal thing to do while on vacation, who doesn't do that? Oh yeah, NO ONE DOES THAT!!! (We had to strap one on the roof, I am sure we looked to cool driving in Miami through Little Havana with a lobster trap on our roof.) (In Tim & Sara's defense, the got the traps because they bought some local Key West art for their turquoise living room and her dad is goind to make picture frames.)

Dm dm, da dadum dm dum, from the windows.... to the walls...... get low!

Thursday- that hip-hop interruption was uncalled for, I will fire myself as author of the blog and hire someone else soon. Anywho, we did NOTHING on Thursday except to finish puting a roof on a shed, because once again, that is a totally normal thing to do while you are on vacation. I did get to see a nice collection of formerly illegal assault rifles. [W gave in to the NRA and now the Brady Bill is expired, I hope he gets shot by a legal assault rifle] {Now is when I usually apologize for such comments, but I hate that guy, I am not the least bit sorry for saying that.......}

Friday- It was long boring trip home but.......






note: This entry will not be finished, due to the Patriot Act, the author has been arrested, he will not be formally charged with anything, but he is a danger to the country. Love, Dept. Homeland Security